Hi, I have recently split from my girlfriend of 7 years, its been 3 weeks now but it feels like its been longer, I miss her terribly I think about her morning noon & night, Its a long story but basically we had problems I suffered with depression and left her for 5 months and lived with my parents again. When I came back to her things had changed she told me we had grown apart and didn’t love me said she still cared but not like that… We sort of got back together but I was constantly suspicious of her checking her face-book & e-mails etc, then it got to the point where she wouldn’t touch me or seem to care about how I felt this dragged on for about 3 months I said a few times I will leave then hoping she would try to stop me, she just said do whatever you want to do…So I left it broke my heart, she just rang me to ask if I was alright not to come back… Since then she has posted on her face-book Ive never felt so happy, never been this happy in years, wish I would have been single years ago, but lists on her profile interested in men looking for a relationship… I spoke to her again recently well saw her actually and she was real cold towards me said that she just wants to be friends that she cares about me but will never be in a relationship with me again… It just doesn’t matter what I do or say I cant stop thinking about her I miss her so much, Does anyone think that she will ever love me like I want again? I would like anyone’s opinions please especially from women. Thanks
Dear Heart Broken;
It is hard to suffer from depression and people who don’t suffer from depression don’t understand those that do. Going to the key core, you moved out, and not just for a few days, for almost half a year, that’s a long time for your ex to evaluate your relationship and truly see how she felt about you. I know it hurts to see her happy and saying the things that she says, but the truth is that it is better to move on from someone who doesn’t love you the way you love them than to sit there hoping that one day they just might love you back. Seven Years is a long time, and there was something obviously wrong for it to have gone so astray after so long. I know it hurts because you still love her (it’s only been 3 weeks), and thinking about her day and night isn’t something that is just going to disappear in a day. You spent a long time with her and you loved her, you have history together and you probably thought you would spend the rest of your life together. It’s hard but the fact that she isn’t in love with you is reality. If she has told you that she cares for you I am sure it is because she was with you for so long and just because you aren’t in love with someone anymore doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring for them, but loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. Try to be strong and get your life back on track, it isn’t going to be easy but you have to move on. It is better to move on now knowing that she isn’t in love with you then to keep up a relationship that is only a lie. You don’t want to spend another 7 years down the road with someone who isn’t happy, or spend it with someone who in the end is only going to end up leaving you. I am sure she has her reasons and I am sure that you are going to hurt for a long time, but I know this is a cliche saying “but time does heal all wounds”. Be strong, look at your relationship and really ask yourself if you were happy with the way things were? Or were you just comfortable? Be strong; you will find someone who will support you through the hard times and love you no matter what. If you still suffer from depression you have to really think about seeing someone or talking to someone, depression is not something easily removed.
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