Dear Kristin Nicole;
I have been married for 2 months and my husband and I have known each
other for 6 years now. We have a great marriage, we love each other,
we are supportive of each other and I am happy with my man. However,
recently (one month ago) he left to Europe in order to pursue higher
studies for 6 months.
Ever since my husband moved to Europe he is being insanely over
protective about me. He keeps telling me not to go out by myself and
to take my father/ brother along with me if I have to go out any
where. He keeps calling me very often in the day- I don’t know if he
is checking on me or he is actually concerned. If he ever calls me and
phone is engaged, he keeps asking me who was I talking to on the
phone. I love my husband and I have never thought about anything but
loving him and staying committed to this relationship.
I love my husband and I want to be with him. However, his over
protectiveness is getting to me, I don’t know if I am over reacting or
if my husband is being over protective. I tried to talk to him about
this but all he told me was that, he is concerned about me and I need
to understand that he is protective about me because he loves me.
I just want to know if this behavior from my husband is normal. If he
is being reasonable, how do I train myself to adapt to this behavior
Your husband is away in another country, it just isn’t around the corner, and don’t worry it is normal for him to be a little worried about you and protective, you have only been married for 2 months and then he had to go away for school. Remember he can’t be with you so he may be feeling a little insecure and feel that if you go out alone you may find someone. You and I both know this is not the case because you love him, and he is not going to be gone forever. Six months is a long time but it is doable. Try talking to your husband again and explain to him that you feel a little overwhelmed by his over protection. Explain to him that you love him and nothing is going to happen, that you understand he only cares and loves you but you are also a grown women and you will be fine. Explain to him how you feel and communicate to him how it bothers you that he is constantly telling you what to do and how he questions you about who you may have been talking to prior to his phone call. Just remind him how much you love him and that you will soon be together.
Have you guys tried video chatting? Maybe this will help a little, at least he can see you and feel a little a closer to you. Again six months is a long time but it is not that long, soon enough he will be back home and you can get back to your normal routine.