Dear Kristin Nicole;
I need advice regarding my husband. He is basically a
good man. The main problem I have with him is his
ability to be stubborn. Most times when we have a
disagreement he reacts by ignoring me. I am left with
feelings of hurt and he simply does not react to me
and ignores me. This gets to me and I know this is
why he does it. He needs to understand how it is hurts
our marriage. I am experiencing a growing disconnection
from you because of this. I am left angry asking myself
what gives him the right to treat me this way. Please
help me on how to better cope with how he is so very
stubborn. As I said, I could not find a more wonderful
man and I know this is in contrast to how he is so darn
stubborn, but it is true he is a good man. I do not
want to divorce over this but have no idea what to do.
I have talked to him, pleaded with him and he still
continues to shun me. I feel this gives him some power
over me and resent it.
Dear Has A Stubborn Husband;
Most men are very stubborn and you are not the only one trying to figure out how to let your guy know that when he ignores you or shuns you out that it is hurting your feelings. Men do not realize that as a women or as a human being we can only take so much neglect and hurt before we start shutting ourselves out of the relationship. From your words I can tell that you truly love your husband and that your only issue is him not realizing how much he is hurting you when he decides to ignore you over an argument. Communication is key to any relationship. Sit down with him and tell him the part you told me “I am experiencing a growing disconnection from you because of this. I am left angry asking myself what gives him the right to treat me this way”. No man has the right to treat us this way, but sometimes they do not really see anything wrong with doing what they do best, and that is being stubborn and not wanting to discuss an argument we may be having with them. If by telling him how you feel does not change there is always the option of counseling. I know this may not seem like a big problem to some people but one of the main reasons for divorce is lack of communication. You have to trust each other and be able to say what you are feeling to each other even if you think it might hurt the other persons feelings. You have to learn to agree to disagree sometimes and we have to learn to say when we might be wrong. Try to be honest again with your husband and go from there, if he still doesn’t listen or change his way you have two options: #1 You kind of already knew he was stubborn when you met him, stick it out and when he ignores you just take a breather and leave him alone for a while, bring it up again in a few minutes or maybe even an hour and make sure to go up to him calmly to discuss and resolve your problem. If the problem isn’t that big, you may want to pick and choose your battles, perhaps you are arguing about little things that just don’t matter. #2 I know you don’t want a divorce but if the both of you can’t work things out and figure out how to communicate then it’s either live like this for the rest of your lives or find a way out. Life is too short to feel unappreciative or feel like he is constantly ignoring you.
You deserve better than that, and if he truly loves you, the both of you will find a way to work things out. Good luck.