She has taken over planning our couple’s shower for our wedding. She has invited my mother (by Facebook message) and my fiance’s mother (by letter) to be involved, however she has themes and games and a bunch of BS planned without getting my mom or his mom’s input. HOW do I deal with her? She’s a complete control freak and I’ve about had enough. She won’t even let ME have a say in our party!
Additional Details – I should also add:
When she wrote the Facebook message to my mom and letter to my fiance’s mom she told them EXACTLY what the shower was going to be, what date etc without asking for their input. She didn’t give them a chance to give input…she just told them..this is it. As far as having input, I should say I wanted input in regard to location (my family is 6+hrs away as is my mom and his family is 1/2 here 1/2 12+ hrs away). The idea of the couples shower/party was so we could all be involved and have it be very relaxed.
Who is paying for it? The initial idea was for our parents to all split it, but we haven’t been allowed to be apart of any of this (Oh and I didn’t get to pick the date, She did it without consulting either of our mothers).
This is a hard position to be in, but this is something definitely you need to do with your fiance. He’s also involved in this, (it’s his family) and she needs to know that the two of you care for her dearly, but this is your wedding shower, and you would like for your mom and his mom to also be involved. If she wants to help that’s fine, but it is your shower, and there are certain things you want and don’t want. If she still doesn’t understand then you have to make the choice of letting it go and letting her run your shower or laying down the rules and being a complete bi***. Unfortunately sometimes we need to be tough for people to get the point. She seems like the controlling type so if you want your shower to be what you want it to be then be honest with her and tell her how it is. Don’t be shy, things like this can’t be held in, it’s part of your big day, and it should be as you see fit. She can’t pick a date without asking you, that is when you really needed to lay down the rules. Explain to her that you need to know what is what, and you would like to plan it yourself. Things like this would make me so upset, and there is no way I would let someone Facebook my mother or mother in law, that’s just ridiculous. Be firm and let her know who’s boss.
Good luck keep me updated
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