Advice Column: I feel alone

 

The Question:

Should I see a counselor, I feel alone.

I’m a 21 year old full time student and worker. I have a respectable job and I am planning to go to law school next year when I finish my undergraduate degree. I haven’t lived at home since I was 9, but instead have lived with a number of random people. I was pretty much in foster care, although I wasn’t officially in the system. When I was younger I dealt with not having parents or family a lot better. I think it was because I felt like I would some day, that someone would love me like their daughter or something. Now that I’m 21, it seems harder for me to deal with my feelings. Most people think I’m really happy, because I can be really energetic at times. I laugh and smile a lot, and honestly I do feel happy sometimes, but overall I’m sad. Every time I go to bed I am sad. I cry a lot by myself because I’ve always wanted a mom or dad to really love me. I’ve made connections with adults and have had mentors, but it seems I never can really be loved like most people love their kids. Nobody comes to my award stuff at school, who knows if I’ll have anyone at my graduation, and I probably wont have anyone to walk me down the isle at my wedding one day. I try so hard, I really do. I try to love people and get involved with other people’s life, but I always feel like an intruder/outsider. I get jealous of my friends who have awesome moms and dads. Not because they have them, but because I wish I did too. I even thought about moving out of state to get away. Advice?

(Edited)

My Response:

Dear feeling sad;

It’s normal to feel the way you do. You come from a situation that not many can crawl out of. You have to count your blessings in other ways. I can’t imagine how hard it is to not have a mother and father in your life, but you have to think of the positive that may have come from it. There are some people who have their parents, but they are abusive mentally and physically. Your situation could have been a lot worse. I know it’s not easy no matter which way you look at it, but something that always keeps me going is to remember ‘it can always be worse.’ Seems to me like you have most of your life put together, you are going into law school, you and you work, keep up the positivity in your life. I definitely don’t see anything wrong with talking to a counselor, sometimes talking to someone helps. Moving out of state is not going to make the sadness in you go away, you have to learn to accept your situation and make the best of it. Have you ever thought about finding family from your biological parents? This is something to think about, maybe they have been looking for you or they don’t know you exist. I don’t know your situation completely so it’s hard for me to give more of my advice. But always remember that you are stronger than what you think, and that it’s okay to feel a little jealous of your friends and their families sometimes. But remember where and what you have become and be  proud of that.

xo,

kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com