Advice Column: How do I handle a relative and a bully?

 

The Question:

How do I handle a relative and a bully?

My older sister is 27 and I am 24. I work three jobs to pay my bills and school. I recently saved up enough money for a car. It’s 10 years old and it’s not the perfect car but it’s mine. She didn’t congratulate me she just brushed the car off , and started off with “she’s going to rub it in my face that she bought a car before me.” I haven’t nor would I rub it in her face.

She told the village cops I’m driving without a license (I’m not) so I’ve been pulled over multiple times. She doesn’t have a job and I’ve vouched for her on multiple occasions for jobs and she’s screwed me over. I work for a grocery store in the morning, and a convenient store at night, and an ambulance service on my days off. She constantly makes comments like; “must be nice to go out and party” on the rare occasions I do go out. My dad recently started dating again and she’s being cruel and mean towards my dads new girlfriend. She’s the reason my mother doesn’t talk to my other sister. My mom borrowed money from my other sister to bail my 27 year old sister out of trouble. She’s got three kids with three guys. She abused me growing up. Every time I try to talk to my mom or dad about it she butts in and says I’m jealous of her. My mom says to drop it because she hates being in the middle of it. What I’m saying is, is it bad to not want her in my life at all? I don’t want to try anymore. I don’t want the negativity in my life. I’m moving out June 1st, is it healthy if I just cut her out of my life?

(Edited)

My Response:

Dear Little Sister;

It’s not unhealthy to cut your own sister out of your life. Some people may have their opinions that this is your sister, and you should try to help her. Family is important, but if that family is only bringing negativity into your life, then sometimes it’s best to move on from them. Your sister is old enough to know right from wrong. She needs to grow up and stop being negative towards you and your family. Have you tried sitting down with your sister one on one, and explaining to her how you feel? Communicating with her about the way you feel is important. You don’t want to regret removing her from your life if you truly feel that you haven’t tried to work things out. If you feel that you have done all you can, then it’s her own doing. It sounds to me like she may be jealous that you have your life together. You are working hard to get to where you want to be, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wouldn’t give her the time of day, let her make her negative comments because at the end of the day you are doing you and making your life better. And no matter what she says, she can’t take that away from you.

xo,

kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com