We are married for 8 months now and I am all alone with him and my people are in a different city. For a very petty issue… my husband got really mad at me and hit me hard (I had to hit him back to defend myself) and now I have bruises in my face and hands.. and he hit me really hard on my head many times… I was advised a CT Scan.. and luckily, it turned out to be just swelling externally in my head. He only took me to the hospital, but he regrets what he did, but still I am very very upset and every time I go to the bedroom I get reminded of how badly he hit me several times that day; pulling my hair so hard and much more… I believe he loves me and I am financially completely independent all I expected out of this marriage was pure love. I don’t know what I should do now; my inner mind tells me this might happen again. I haven’t informed any of my people about this, as I know they will get very worried. Any thoughts on what I should do now?
Thank you so much for pouring in all your thoughts.. 1) I am in India. 2) Issue was nothing but, I was upset about not being able to find a movie of my choice from a place near by, so I didn’t talk to him for sometime because I was upset with my own fate and he didn’t care he later inquired what was bothering me as I was lying alone sadly for sometime. He started off very harsh asking what happened to me, I just replied that issue would worsen if you ask in this tone. He didn’t like my reply and threw some juice in my face, I said I would not take the way that I was being treated and he said he would still do the same in-spite of me explaining to him calmly multiple times how I was feeling. Even in the past for other petty issues like this, he has thrown and broken household things. Once he was even about to break my office laptop and I just assumed that he would go to the extent of hitting me! And I consciously threw juice back in his face as I got tired being submissive and I made up my mind to face the worst and did it. Please help….
(Modified a few changes in the spelling and tried to make it make sense – Kristin Nicole)
I don’t know how things work in India, but here in the United States what you two are doing is called abuse. No man has the right to hit any women I don’t care where you are from, and I don’t care what you do back to him. The two of you need to sit down together and figure things out. Do you want to make things work with someone who gets upset because you are upset and then just starts throwing things and hitting you? You are also not innocent in all this either, if he is asking you why you are upset there is no reason to get more upset at him, and just because he throws something around the house does not give you the right to throw something in his face (juice). The two of you are abusing each other and it isn’t right. You can not grow with this relationship if it is only going to be about yelling at each other, throwing things or hitting each other. (Like I said before this gives him no right to hit you), but the both of you need help, and your marriage will not get far if the both of you are abusing each other and yelling and fighting all the time. You need to evaluate your relationship and ask yourself “is this the man I want to spend the rest of my life with”? If you know the answer deep down is no, then you need to move on (not sure if divorce is allowed in India) but you need to get away from this abusive relationship, if you want to stay, you are taking the chance that your husband will not stop abusing you and you will only retaliate back by abusing him. (This is not a healthy relationship). Think about what you two are doing to each other, talk to each other and make a decision before someone gets really hurt.
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com