The Question:
“I don’t love you any more” I will never forget the day my wife told me those words…we have only been married for less than a year and been together for two years before that but it still felt like my my whole life was falling apart…people tell me I’m lucky we had no kids or that it happened now instead of 20 years down the road but that doesn’t seem to take away from the fact that I love her more than any thing…to be told your not loved by the person you built your world around will knock you down and I’m finding it very hard to get back up. I’ve moved away and I’m starting a new job but my hart seems to be stuck in the past, I still love her even thought I know there is no real hope of us ever being together again. I’ve started drinking which I never do but it seems to be the only thing that takes away some of the pain if only for a few hours; anyway this is not really a question its just me asking for others story of hope and recovery from losing love. Please tell me how you got over your loss of love and that’s its going to get better…right????
My Response:
Dear Lost Love;
Being told by the person you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that they don’t love you anymore is heartbreaking, world shattering news. It’s like a train runs you over and you can’t move. A brick wall is standing in front of you and you don’t know where to go. Truth is, even though it hurts right now, and even though you feel like you will always love her and only her, time passes and does heal all wounds. It is true what people say, it’s better now that you didn’t have kids together, it’s better now than 20 years down the road after you lived half your life together, it’s just better now. This is true, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to make you feel better about the situation. You have to think though, did you want to stay in a marriage full of lies, filled with someone you loved so much but doesn’t love you back in return? Don’t you think you deserve to be loved the way you love them? There is no big secret about how to move on, there is no “do this”; “do that”, and you will get over it. Everyone is different and we all move on in different ways. As for your drinking, if it’s to try to make the pain go away, then that’s a problem, drinking doesn’t solve sadness, it only increases it. If you are noticing that you are drinking more, than you should be able to control it. It’s not easy moving forward when you thought you already had your life planned out with someone, but this is a new beginning, you have a new job a new place a new life…Think positive, I know it’s hard, but I promise, things do get better.
xo,
kristin nicole
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com
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