How do I deal with my ex? He’s constantly wanting to do things together and those times are…?

The Question:

How do I deal with my ex? He’s constantly wanting to do things together and those times are over. We have a four year old together, and been split up for three years. I am currently with a great man, however my ex keeps asking to do things together. He called to get our son this weekend and when he asked if I was still with my current he flipped the script, and didn’t get our son this weekend. It seems like he only wants to see our baby when I am there too. This is hurting my child, for he adores his daddy, and I am running out of things to tell him as to where Daddy’s at. What should I do?? Please Help.

My response:

Dear Baby Daddy drama;

Be honest with your ex, and ask him straight forward, what is up with him? Your ex is obviously still hoping that the two of you have a chance on getting back together (you said you have been separated for three years now) he needs to move on. He needs to understand that you guys are over and there is absolutely no chance in the two of you rekindling anything again. Explain to him that when he says he is going to pick up your son, he needs to follow through with it, your son is at the age that he remembers if Daddy was coming to pick him up or not and he is only hurting your son. This is hard because you are thinking about your son as you should, but don’t hold back and be honest with him, he needs to wake up and realize that he’s hurting his son by doing this and he needs to move on from whatever it is he thinks he’s doing by hanging out with your son only when you are around. Does he continue to help you in other ways with your son? I know you lie to your son so that you don’t hurt him, and I am not a parent nor am I in your shoes, but I believe in being honest with your child, eventually you aren’t going to be able to come up with excuses, and kids are smart, eventually he’s going to know something isn’t right. Have faith and be honest with your ex, if he wants to be a good father, he’ll grow up and stop thinking about himself for a change. If he doesn’t grow up the only thing you can do is continue what you have been doing, being a great mother to your son and being there for him even if that means his dad isn’t.

Good luck, let me know how it goes.

xo,
kristin nicole

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