The Question:
Been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years and we have a daughter together, things were rocky at the start as he cheated but he showed remorse and devoted himself to me and our daughter and things have been great with us. I have had suspicions about him talking to other girls on facebook so i made an account pretending to be this girl and when i logged in there was an email that said he wanted to catch up for a coffee, i am totally heart broken….do you think hes gonna cheat? just back from a nice holiday with his parents and everything was great, do i end it with him?
My Response:
Dear Snooping;
Okay lets start off with the first obvious – HE CHEATED ON YOU once already… this should have been your first sign to get out and move on, I understand you have a daughter together but he cheated on you and the trust was broken and no matter how nice he acts or how things may seem like they are changing, it will always be hard to trust him again. The fact that he is on Facebook writing to girls and asking them to meet is a form of cheating. This does not mean he is physically cheating on you or that he has cheated again, but it is a form of emotional cheating. You have options. First I want to say that if you felt the need to snoop and make a facebook account to trick your boyfriend then the trust is obviously not there. Do you want to be in a relationship always wondering if that person is being faithful to you? Or a relationship that you can sit back and enjoy because you know that person would not do that to you? You have options, we all do. You can confront him and tell him about what happened (however, do not be surprised if he tries turning things around and saying he knew it was you all along, what are you going to do then?) You can go behind his back and have a friend he’s never met before meet him, and see how far it will progress (but do you want to put yourself through this?) Is it really worth it? If you have to go this far into trying to catch your boyfriend cheating, then to me, it’s just not worth it. If the trust is not there, there is no true relationship. If you can’t trust him and you think he is cheating on you, then you need to move on. I am not saying to end it because of an email, I think you need to talk to him first and tell him how you feel. If you know deep down you will never be able to trust him, you have to ask yourself a few questions and decide if this relationship is worth holding on to.
Good luck.
xo,
kristin nicole
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