Advice Column: I don’t think I love my girlfriend anymore

 

The Question:

We’ve known each other for nearly 6 years now and have been together for 2 of them. We pretty much live together as it is between her place and mine. Before we were going out I always wanted to be with her and I felt so strongly about her and loved her so much when we got together. But in the past few months I don’t feel like I love her anymore. I don’t want to be around her or talk to her.

I understand that when your with someone for a long time you get your down time for a while but I’ve had these thoughts before. The longer we’ve been together the more I don’t want to be with her. The only thing is we’re 16/17 and I’m her second boyfriend, and I helped her through her first break up and I don’t want to hurt her the way her ex did. I just feel like sh*t when I’m with her. We were so much better when we were just friends. Anyway, please can someone help me out? I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to be with her anymore and I feel so much sh*tter [sic] when she mentions marriage and how her parents and family think we’ll get married cause I’m so good for her. HELP!

My Response:

Dear Young Love;

Telling her the truth and not leading her on will be the first step. She will get hurt regardless because she loves you but in the end she will realize that you telling her the truth about how you feel is better then living a lie. You are super young, you guys are only 16/17 and you both have so much more dating left to do. I do not understand how her parents can possibly think marriage at your age, but don’t worry so much about everyone else and what they think, worry about how you feel. You do not want to pretend to be happy in a relationship and you do not want to lead her on into thinking that one day you will get married when you know deep down that will never happen. It’s hard and you are going to have to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. In the end even if she doesn’t see what a great guy you are by telling her the truth now, eventually she will. Don’t ever settle for someone just because you do not want to hurt their feelings. Relationships are hard and when one person wants to end it there is always one person who’s feelings will get hurt, but it’s better you do it now then later down the road. Staying with her longer and then telling her you don’t want to be with her will only hurt her more. Communication is key to any relationship and I think you will be a great boyfriend to another girl one day, but you have to think about you and you have to think about her. It’s not fair for her to keep believing you love her when you don’t. Tell her how you feel, and although it won’t be easy, you can finally move on and start dating other girls. Live your life, you are still young and have so much more experiences to live for. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

(2011)