Advice Column: He touched my brother and molested me. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
He touched my brother when he was little and then he molested me. I’m angry and I don’t know what to do.
So a few years ago my brother and I where sleeping over at our friends house, and in the middle of the night I woke up and caught this person who was 13 at the time touching, with my younger brother who was 8 [sic]. I didn’t give it much thought, I just thought they were playing some harmless game or whatever and went back to sleep, the next morning I asked them what they where up to and this person said that they where just playing games on the computer. This was back when I trusted this person, so I thought I probably just dreamed it or my eyes where playing tricks on me since it was dark and I was still half asleep. Anyway, so I completely forgot about it for about 2 years and then around March of 2013, my sister told me some horrible rape story that had happened to her friend and it left me feeling shocked for several days. It triggered the memory of catching this person and my brother touching.
So I asked my brother what happened and it turns out that this person had bribed him to touch him. I couldn’t handle that so I told my dad and he said it was harmless and something I shouldn’t be worrying about and he laughed. I went over to this persons house for a week or so and he came back to ours, I wasn’t mad yet I just felt really bad [sic], I felt like it was somehow my fault that it had happened. I felt guilty for about 6 months non stop. While this person was here he was a DICK! I talked to him about what he did and he threatened me! He called me names and once he dry humped my back against my will.
I told him to stop but he waited like 30 seconds, I could have beat him up but I couldn’t be bothered [sic]. He stayed here for 3 months. I went over to his house in April this year and I beat him up, and I told him I was beating him because he humped me. He denied it at first but then he said if I wanted him to stop I should have just said so. I saw him a few days later and his eye was bloodshot, I still feel angry though, I think I should go to his house and dry hump him against his will and beat him up till he cries because I still feel really angry at that f***ing *****! I hate him for all the s*** he did to me. He’s also racist. He brags to me about doing drugs cause he thinks its cool. He calls me names, like when he was here he called me a crazy b**** for not dyeing his hair. In 2012 He tried to beat me up because he was using my computer, and I asked if I could use it for a minute, and he just ignored me completely so I got angry and told him to get off. I didn’t fight back.
Please help, I don’t know what to do.
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Angry;
You are very angry, but beating up on this person, or going to their house is not helping anyone. You have every right to be angry but you need to stop and talk to an adult that will help you. I am not sure if you have a mom? Have you spoken to her or any other family member besides your dad? You should try talking to your dad again, I cannot believe that he would just brush something like this off, but sometimes as adults we don’t want to face something that is so horrible, yet true. This doesn’t excuse him, but I’m just trying to understand why he would allow this man back into your house after what you told him. You or your brother should never be around this person. I would talk to another adult and report this person as soon as possible. If this person has done this to you and your brother than they most likely have done this to other children and it isn’t safe to be around them. Do not blame yourself, you couldn’t have prevented what this person did to your brother, you are and were young and you didn’t know what you were really seeing. The important part is that you now know the truth and you can now protect your brother and yourself by not being around this man and reporting him. Report this person to someone and stay away from them.
xo
kristin nicole
I found this question on Yahoo.com
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