Advice Column: Which guy should I choose?

The Question:

Guy number 1 – This guy, I met randomly and we just started talking and we really connected. We used to talk to each other as much as we can from day to night, until he had to go to bed. A few weeks later he told me he loved me and asked me out. That was the perfect thing as that was all I ever wanted. He is a great guy and he treated me very well.

I think its true that people change, as now, as we know each other inside and out, there is really nothing to talk about anymore, and we are loosing the connection we had when we first met each other. It gets kind of awkward and I can sometimes tell that he is kind of ‘bored’ as he talks to other girls. I try not to become the jealous type, but its not like I can tell him not to talk to those girls.

Anyway, I questioned him the other day, because now I’m feeling nothing at all, and I think he forgot everything about me as he doesn’t know how I feel about things now. [sic]. I am very sensitive and I tend to cry a lot about different things. He told me everything I wanted to hear, and it made me feel so guilty that I ever doubted him.

The thing I was a bit [sic] more upset about was how he had to go to camp for his French excursion and when I was talking he said he was ‘packing.’ I asked what for and he said he was going on Camp. I was a bit disappointed about this but I didn’t really have a choice. He left the next day and wont be back for four days. That’s when I reconnected with my best friend.

Guy number 2- I’ve known this guy for nearly a year and we met through this other guy, which we don’t see very much anymore. He also is seeing somebody else, and is having problems with her as well and she is on vacation and wont be back for about 2 weeks. So both of them went away and left us behind.

We started talking one day and I think a little spark happened between us. We both were experiencing some problems in our relationships and we were talking about it and ‘trying’ to help each other. Things got better as he asked me a lot of questions about relationships and how I would go about doing things. Things like ‘what if you love someone else’ or ‘what kinda guys do you like’ – things like that.

I thought for a minute that he might be just being friendly but I knew he wasn’t as it was quite obvious that he may be giving me hints that he likes me back. We talked about it for the 4 days and we really reconnected and it changed the way we talked to each other, not like the old times.

He is really a sweet guy, who makes me really happy and says the things thatI want hear. I think I am actually falling in love with him. I don’t know how to act and I’m so confused because now it feels weird when I talk to my boyfriend.

Sorry this was really long, but that’s the info I can describe about both guys, I am so confused and I have no idea how to go about this. Can someone help me make my decision?
Thanks so much!
xox

(Edited)

My Response:

Dear stuck between two;

Okay lets start off with the obvious Guy #1 – Sometimes we think we fall for someone when really it was only an infatuation, and sometimes we do love someone but we fall out of love with them. It seems to me that your current boyfriend needs to go. The chemistry just isn’t there anymore for the two of you and it isn’t that any of you did something wrong, sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. You two have grown up a little more and perhaps just grown apart. When you really love someone and really truly have things in common with them, you never run out of things to say to each other. Don’t even look at Guy #2 right now as an option, just focus on Guy #1…Do you love him? Do you see yourself with him in the long run? If one of those answers is a NO, You need to move on, because of what you have said about your boyfriend, he seems like he cares about you but he just isn’t in love with you.

Now Guy #2 – You guys are friends, have always been friends and have now reconnected because you are both having the same problem. You may think you are falling in love with him, but it could just be the common story you share together, boy with girl, girl and boy aren’t happy anymore, etc etc…. You guys have something in common with each other and you are sharing something together that is very personal, that will bring any two people closer together, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s love. On the other hand it can be something growing there, but the two of you first need to figure out what it is you want with the people you are currently committed to, don’t discuss that if you leave her, I’ll leave him type of thing, just do what you feel is right, and if he is still there when you decide then go from there.

Good luck with the two.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)