The Question:
OK me and my G/F had a big fight over the phone a few weeks ago, its a long distant relationship at the minute as she is from a different country. She came over here to live for 5 months but was getting very stressed because she was finding it hard to get work, so she moved back a couple of months ago and I have been out there a few times to see her and she will be moving back after the summer. Anyway after the fight she became very moody, we still talked everyday but not like B/F and G/F. A few days later I got a message saying I feel very emotional, I am trying to forget you so much but all I can think about is you. I really care for this girl and we decided to give it another go and I plan to go out there in a few weeks, but she has started to become very distant at the moment. She has just bought a car and I know its giving her a lot of financial strain, so yesterday I sent her a message saying “is everything OK, because at the moment you seem very distant, I care about you and I am worried about you”. This is the reply I got ‘Stop bothering me please leave me alone with my problems, I don’t need help, don’t make everything such a big deal. I will never take help from you, you know why’!! So i just replied you know where I am when you want to talk.
I am just a bit confused with this sudden change of mood, I know there is no one else. Could anyone possibly help me?? Could it be that she is just worried and she doesn’t want to worry me, but she is being very distant like I say and that is making me worry more.
My Response:
Dear Long Distance;
Long Distance = Disaster. If she was willing to move over there with you and be with you and decided to leave because it was too stressful not finding a job is BS! Life is stressful, but if you really love someone and you move to another country or State to be with them, 5 months is nothing and finding a job is hard, but if you were in it together than she should have stuck it out. Another question??? Why did she get a car she can’t afford?!? Perhaps this is a sign that she isn’t financially stable. I know you love her but it sounds to me that her pushing you away is an indication she isn’t sure she loves you back. I know you say she isn’t with anyone else, but it is a possibility, and it’s something you have to take into consideration, because people just don’t start distancing themselves for no reason. There is always a reason behind it! Find out, give her call and stop all this texting BS, tell her how you feel, and explain to her that you need to know how she feels and if she still wants to be with you and if she still wants to try and make things work. Don’t be scared for her answer, if she’s ready to move on, it’s probably for the best. Trust me everything happens for a reason, sometimes we aren’t meant to be with the people we think we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives with, and in a moment you’ll find that someone else, the person who IS right for you! Talk to your girlfriend, she either moves back with you to make things work, or you move over there, but something needs to be done, pushing you away isn’t the answer.
xo,
kristin nicole
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