The Question:
Should I get involved with a newly separated (married) man?
He left his wife last month but they have been emotionally disconnected for years. He has been waiting for the kids to leave the house to be with me. I never pursued anything until they separated. I don’t want to end up hurt and my friends are telling me not to do it.
My Response:
Dear Involved;
I’m a little confused as to why he is waiting for the kids to leave the house to be with you? How old are the kids? If they are young, then that is going to be a long time, and you have to think of two things. One – if he really wants to be with you, it is understandable that the kids come first, but to wait until they leave the house is to the extreme, if he really wants to be with you he would regardless of the kids, and he would introduce you into their lives. Two – If the kids are much older and almost out of the house, what is the problem?? Again he should introduce you to his kids, eventually being in the house or not they are going to find out about you. As far as him just being newly separated and the fact that he says he’s been emotionally disconnected for years can be him just saying that to make you feel better about the situation. However, he could really be over her, and ready to move on, although if that was the case (Why are you waiting for the kids to leave the house again)? Ask him straight out what he is looking for in a relationship, you do not want to waste your time on someone who isn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. It sounds to me like he might not be ready…
Good Luck.
xo,
kristin nicole
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com
As far as I’m concerned you shouldn’t be dating a married man/woman in the first place…
Obviosly these two people loved each other at one time and possibly still do. Who’s to say this seperation isn’t just a time out for both of them. Ever heard of the cliche…absence makes the heart grow fonder?
In the end the only real contribution that you will have made is being just another obstacle that stands in the way of a possible reconciliation. You will be the one person HE will seldom, if ever, “live happily ever after” with.
What about your total disregard for the person you don’t know?
What about his total disreagard for the person he does know?
There is a world to which we live that is full of people waiting for the chance to have a lasting relationship that involves love and commitment. Moments of passion, happen every day in every moment then fade away.
He is still technically married so you don’t want to become a mistress and possibly get dragged to the divorce proceedings. Be a friend if you like, but if another EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE man happens to ask you out in the meantime just wait until they are available
Miranda,
Great response, I too think that if married although separated, they still have a lot of baggage and things to take care of. It is never good to rush into a relationship where the other person is not 100% involved.
xo
kristin nicole