The Question:
I am in my 20’s and my parents have been married for over 30 years. We recently found out that my Mom has been seeing her high school sweetheart. We were all in shock and are trying to work through this. I invite my Dad over my house twice a week and make sure I talk to him everyday b/c he is very depressed. My Mom keeps seeing this guy and will not stop. The guy is a loser and even her parents said this guy is trouble. She is not the same person I knew my whole life. I have not talked to her since Christmas because she makes me so mad. But I need help in helping my Dad. I want to make sure that he lives a happy life and make sure that he knows everything will be ok no matter what. Does anyone have any advice on what to do in this situation? I know he just wants his wife back. Please help. Thanks!
My Response:
Dear Stuck in the Middle;
I know it must be hard and you are stuck in a hard situation, the truth is all you can do is keep inviting your dad over, calling him everyday and being there for him. Give him encouraging words and although it’s your mom, he deserves to know that he deserves better than what she is doing to him. I would say to stay out of it, your father is a grown man and he needs to confront your mom and talk to her about what is going on, leave her if that is what he must do. It is never easy especially after being with someone for so many years, but he deserves more from her. If you absolutely feel you have to get involved than sit down with your mom, find out what is going on in her mind that she would do such a thing, maybe this is a mid-life crisis thing or maybe she just wasn’t happy in the marriage (it might be hard to hear but be prepared to find out that perhaps your parents weren’t always happy together). Our parents always try to make it look like everything is okay (for our sake) but things can be going wrong deep down under the surface we never knew about. Talk to your dad too and tell him that you are there for him, tell him that he needs to stand up for himself and he needs to either get his wife back or move on because he deserves only the best.
xo,
kristin nicole
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