My husband cheated on me 1 1/2 years ago and then I found out…
He broke of all ties with his mistress. A couple of days ago we drove past her. The road was busy so we were driving slowly. He did not think that I noticed but when we went past her he stared at her, and for at least 5 seconds. When we went round the bend he looked back again. What does this mean? Or is it nothing to worry about? Was it just curiosity? I mean he said he made a huge mistake and dislikes her very much. Why look then? I think she saw him. What would happen after such a long time if she decides to text him or something? Men aren’t interested in old mistresses long after, right?
Not sure if this matters, but we are both 43 and she is 31 and very pretty.
Don’t be naive, you are a grown women, and your husband cheated on you. This wasn’t some teenage “I messed up and cheated moment”, you are married and he betrayed your trust and your love. Sticking in a marriage after such a betrayal is 100% your decision, but don’t be naive and think that he is absolutely over this women or that he hates her somehow, or that men do not go back to their mistresses and cheat again. There can be many reasons why he ended things with her, one he was caught (you found out), and he realized that he doesn’t want to loose you so he ended things with her, two she ended things with him and you found out about the affair and he wants you to believe that he’s the one who ended it because that would make it so much more powerful and more trusting to believe than if she ended it or it just ended and seeing her that day brought back memories. It doesn’t necessarily mean him looking at her will make him run back to her, or her to him, or that there are any feelings still there, but it could mean that he did feel something and he was thinking about her. Either way, it’s not good, your husband cheated on you and the trust is no longer there. You have to either let it go and keep moving forward (if you aren’t planning on leaving him), or get out (have respect for yourself) and don’t allow him to cheat on you again.
I think the older we get we tend to hang on, because it’s so much easier than starting over at your age, but no age is ever to late to start over with. Respect yourself, love yourself and talk to your husband about how you feel. If you want things to work then the two of you need marriage counseling, you need to talk out your feelings and try to work on it, if you can never trust him, it will never work and you will live a life full of lies. What do you want?
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