Okay I have been with my husband for 4 years, For the first 18 months we were fine! The week after I gave birth to my first child, he was drunk and he beat me really bad. To this day my eye twitches because of it. Well he didn’t do anything like that for a long time, 5 months or so. We got married around our two year anniversary. It is like it all went down hill from there. I was pregnant again and he beat me all throughout my pregnancy. He kicked me in the back and when I told him he could hurt the baby and he said ” well it wasn’t in the stomach”. After I gave birth to my 2nd (2nd c-section) he beat me again because I asked him to change HIS FIRST diaper. He said it wasn’t his “job”. For the last 7 months I have been on new diabetic meds that doesn’t make me feel to good and on various occasions he has wanted sex, and when I say no he pretty much does it to me anyway. I had planned to leave him, he hasn’t done anything for about 7 weeks, but after all that I don’t think I could still stay with him. I just feel like I don’t feel the same anymore. Am, I wrong for feeling this way, I don’t know what to do anymore, I need some advise , someone to talk to anything. I need help with this situation, what should I do?
Dear Abused Wife/Mother;
You are not wrong to feel that way, it is absolutely normal to feel like you lost yourself, to feel like you aren’t yourself anymore because your husband has taken away your faith. He has taken away your strength and your heart, and you have not only you to think about but your children. Do you want your children to grow up in an abusive house hold? First things first…You should have never married him after he beat you the first time, but you did and we can’t turn back time now. The second time he beat you, during your pregnancy should have been another sign that he had no regard for your life or for the life of your un-born child. Stop for a moment and stop coming up with excuses like “well it’s been 7 weeks since he’s done anything”. It doesn’t make it right! NO MAN should ever beat their wife or anyone for that matter. You need to be strong and I am not saying it’s going to be easy but do you have family that you can live with for a while? Take your children and go to court. I would not trust this man with my children, if he beats you it is possible he can become abusive to the children if he hasn’t already. You need to divorce this man, you need to press charges and you need to get out now. DO NOT let him suck you back into his life. He will tell you how much he loves you, how much you mean to me, that you are everything to him and that he is so sorry for hitting you and he will never do it again??! If he doesn’t go that route, he may try to threaten you and he may tell you that you cannot leave him. YOU ALWAYS have a choice to leave. If you feel that he may do something more than just beat you, you need to be close to family and you need to report him to the police. I understand that he is the child of your children but do you honestly think that this is a good father figure for your children? Do you want your children to follow the patterns into an abusive relationship in the future or become abusers themselves one day? This is what usually happens when a child grows up in this kind of environment. I would talk to a lawyer and make sure that he can only have visitation rights with a supervised visit. As for him forcing you to have sex, it doesn’t matter if he’s your husband in most states that is considered rape, even by a husband. GET OUT NOW! You need to be strong and confident and you need to be happy. You will never be happy living with fear.
I hope you get the help you need.
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