I’m moving in with my BF, but I’m just NOT SURE…

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

I am about to move in with my boyfriend but I have a few doubts. I’m not sure he’s mature financially or emotionally to deal with us moving in together. He is 30 and I am 29, this would be the first time I move in with someone so I’m a little scared. We have had an on and off relationship for a while but for the last six months we have been really stable. Do you think that I should move in with him, or wait until he gets more of his finances in order?

Sincerely,
~Moving IN

My Response:

Dear Moving IN;

You are both grown adults and if you are doubting his financial stability then it is definitely something you both need to talk about. You need to see where both of you stand. Draw out an excel spreadsheet with your finances, how much each of you make, expenses for the house, and miscellaneous stuff like eating out, hygiene etc. Moving in together is a big commitment and since you both have been on and off in the past you want to know deep down that this is the right thing to do, you don’t want to rush into something that you will later regret. If things have been going well and he has a stable job then you are probably just nervous. This is natural, especially if you have never lived with another person besides your parents. Communication is so important in a relationship and if you are going to move in together you will definitely need to learn how to communicate. Talk to him and do your budget sheet, once you do that you will know where you both stand and what you can afford. If you don’t trust your boyfriend at all with his finances then that is something you truly need to think about. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who can’t control his spending or finance situation? Especially since he’s already 30. Sit, talk and work things out.

xo,
kristin nicole