I found this question goggling away online and trying to come up with something to blog about…I thought it was interesting because I know this has happened to many girls and I know it’s happened to me before too. Take a look…
The Question:
I have a problem with my boyfriend. He tells me that he is going to call me and then he doesn’t. In a text I told him ‘thanks for calling’ in a sarcastic way. I know he understood what I was trying to say he just ignored it and said I love you. He made me so mad and upset. I want to get back at him and show him how it feels when somebody says they’ll do something and don’t end up doing it. How do I get back at him without being as mean?
My response:
Dear sarcastic,
I know it’s hard to understand this because we aren’t men, and we don’t think like them. When we say we will call you back, or that we’ll call you later, it’s more likely we do then we don’t. Unfortunately men don’t see this as a concern, they don’t comprehend that when they tell us they’ll call us back, we expect just that. We don’t expect a telephone marathon, we just expect for you to call us back, even if it’s just for 2 minutes. I have done the being ‘sarcastic’ bit before (especially in a text) problem with this is, they usually just ignore us, because they don’t see anything wrong with what they are doing. My advice, don’t try to get back at him, he just won’t understand what you are doing or he just won’t care. Men aren’t like us, and they don’t care about the little things. Trying to get back at him isn’t going to solve the problem of him not calling you back. Be straight forward with him, and to his face, not on the phone or through a text or email, straight to his face tell him that it truly bothers you when he says he’s going to call and he doesn’t. Tell him that you need for him to try if he wants things to work. I know it’s hard sometimes to confront and as a women we think of all the negative stuff the man might say, but just think positive and if he really cares or loves you, he’ll call you back next time.
xo,
kristin nicole
Agreed. Most of us men, sadly, don’t think these things matter.
I’m definitely one of them. I have so many things running through my mind at any one time that a simple “I’ll call you back” gets forgotten until the next time I see the person or get reminded of something in regards to that person.
It’s not an intentional “I’m not going to call her back to make her angry” it’s more of a “I want to remember to call back but it’s hard”. Hope this helps!
Dear Tony,
I understand this is how the male species thinks, but it doesn’t make it right. If a person says you are going to call then it shouldn’t be that hard. I understand however that men don’t see it the way we do, and unfortunately never will. We are two different species from the same world, and we’ll always just think very differently.
Just remember what we don’t like done to us, don’t do to others. Try to be more aware of the other persons feelings.
xo,
kristin nicole