I found this question on a site called Help.com and I found it interesting to give my advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and for the first time I got into a fight with his mom. My boyfriend and I were arguing. I was on my cell and he was on his mom’s cell. We got into a fight and were hanging up on each other. Then I went to call him back on her phone and she answered ******* me out and hung up on me. this happened about 3 weeks ago. his mom and i have not spoken to each other since. I go over to his parents house (he lives there) and she wont even be in the same room as me or say anything to me. When i call on the house phone she never answers she hands the phone to someone else to answer. I can no stand this anymore. I think she is being very childish for being a 40 year old mother. I don’t feel that I did anything wrong because I never said anything to her or ******* her out or hung up the phone on her. I also do not feel that I should apologize, or be the one to start a conversation with her. I am not saying that she needs to apologize but I think she needs to be the one to take me aside and settle this. I am so frustrated with this situation and it is tearing me and my boyfriends apart. I try and talk to him about it but he just gets mad because he does not want to deal with this problem because it is between his mom and me.
Dear not speaking,
I know that the situation is between you and your boyfriends mother, but being the girlfriend, I don’t think it’s wrong of your boyfriend to interfere and talk to his mom. I think you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that it hurts that his mom isn’t talking to you, (If he starts to get upset tell him you just want him to hear you out), I see no reason as to why he can’t just tell his mom to stop acting the way she is. Unfortunately , we think differently then men, and he may feel that he’s getting in between the two of you and he doesn’t want to choose sides. What they don’t understand is that there really isn’t a side to choose, you just don’t want his mom to be upset with you, and you just want to go back to the way things were. Your boyfriend should just ask her why she is not talking to you, and try to mend things, he shouldn’t want that awkwardness to interfere in his relationship. If he doesn’t want to get in the middle of it, he kind of already is because he was using his mom’s phone the day you were arguing and he didn’t have the audacity to at least step outside while talking to you, he was obviously having the argument with you in front of his mom. His mom must have heard something she didn’t like and took offense. I don’t agree with this tactic and I do think his mom is being childish for not talking to you, your fight with her son had nothing to do with her. However, if you don’t want to have this awkward silent talk between the two of you every time you call or go over then it seems you are going to have to be the bigger person here and break the ice. Go up to her and just tell her that you aren’t sure why she is upset with you but that you apologize for anything she might have taken offense to. (I know what you are thinking…why should you apologize for something you didn’t do)? Well if you want to just fix things we sometimes have to just be that bigger person, let the other person hear what they want to hear, even if we know we shouldn’t be the one apologizing. If you choose the keep ignoring her route, things may blow over and she may soon come to her senses and just start talking to you again, but do you really want to just keep waiting and feel uncomfortable every time you are at your boyfriends house? Be the bigger person in this situation and just confront her, if you don’t want to apologize just straight out ask her what is bothering her, and explain to her that you don’t like this awkwardness there is between the two of you. That should break the ice, and go from there.