My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and we live about an hour apart, so we don’t get to see each other that much. Maybe once or twice a week ( half a day) some weeks we don’t even see each other. He was overseas for Christmas and I didn’t see him for a month. I’m not the kind of person to cling to him or be obsessed and stuff but recently its been bugging me. The fact that he isn’t here when I need him really gets to me :(. I don’t think we spend enough time with each other although he says he tries his best. I don’t go out with my guy and girl friends anymore because it upsets him if I go alone. He has uni all the time and stuff and so do I but i try to make time for him and he does not seem to make time for me. We were suppose to go out with friends on Friday but he said he has a group meeting. We changed it to Saturday and he says he promised his friend they would hang out! Should I just break up with him??
Dear Long Distance;
It’s a hard decision and I can see that you really care for him and perhaps even love him, but long distance relationships whether it be across the country or just an hour away is hard. You need a boyfriend that is there for you, you can’t really have a true relationship if you aren’t able to spend time together and get to know each other in person. No one can make the decision for you to break up with him or not, that is something that only you can do. The fact that you are asking the question shows that it is on your mind. Evaluate your relationship, you said:
** You live an hour away, but you only see each other 1 to 2 times a week and only for half a day. (An hour isn’t a short drive, but it also isn’t that far), if he really wants to see you he’ll make the effort to come down on the weekends. I’m not sure how his schedule is, so maybe he can’t come down on the weekends, and if this is the case this is something that is hard to change.
** You don’t go out with your friends because he does not like you going out alone. (Okay, if you aren’t hanging out with him because he wants to hang out with his guy friends, explain to me why it’s okay for him but not for you)?
Long distance is hard, and if one of you is making the effort and the other person isn’t, then there is a decision you definitely have to make. I know it’s hard but if you love him, and he really wants to make it work, you guys will figure it out. If you feel it isn’t going to work, then it’s best to go your separate ways now and find someone closer that you can have a good relationship with. Someone you can see more often and go on dates with. Take maybe a few days off from each other and see how you feel then. Don’t keep waiting though, time doesn’t stop for love….
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