Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger. Image found on google.com/images
Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger
Dear Kristin Nicole
My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years. Is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
~Swinger
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Swinger;
If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky or ever indicated that he wanted to be a swinger? If this is something new that he suddenly brought up then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other women and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end. You may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with your gut feeling and talk to your husband. If he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.
xo,
kristin nicole
(2011)
Your husband loves you, otherwise, he would just cheat and not tell you if his needs weren’t being met. Instead, he wants to include you. If there are other women involved, it will be nice that you are part of it and not wondering if he is cheating. Emotionally he is still all yours. He is just needing some fantasys fulfilled. If you are there, its not really cheating, to him emotionally, its more like taking you to a baseball game. So, you should try it. You may like it. If not, tell him you dont. But, you should at least try it if you dont want to loose him eventually.
SoapNights, I think your answer is pretty biased. Although you may feel that the swinger lifestyle is wrong, there are many couples that have happily live like that. In your answers, you should definitely include other points of view, too.
Dear Legit,
I do not think I was biased at all, my first statement states: “If you want my personal opinion”, this is my personal opinion, I do not judge and if she was willing to go along with what her husband likes to do, then it is up to her. I personally do not believe in swinging within a relationship, but again that is my personal belief.
xo
kristin nicole