Should my wife pay Child Support?

The Question:

Should my wife pay child support, she cheated is cohabitating w/ the new guy, left our 3 kids too, should she? All 3 beautiful kids are with me. She works full time and so do I. I am having to pay (alone) for after school care for my kids, and I pay for all the kids needs, clothes, food, bills, etc. She left the kids and I, and I rent a home still. She lives with the other man in an apartment and is going to be saving money to buy a better car, new bedroom set and split a rental home with him in the fall for $1,600 a month down the middle with the other man. I really don’t want anything from her though; but will the court order her to pay since all 3 will be with me as she does not want to raise them? I have an email that clearly states she does not want to raise them. She fears I will ask for child support and yet says she does NOT want to give me anything to help out. Says she is not required to. I think she is living in La La Land. We have been married 15 years and the other guy was cheated on by his now ex-wife, they have 2 little kids of their own…

She can’t get custody of the kids, says my divorce attorney, since she tried to commit suicide by overdosing on prescription meds in 2004. It is documented by a police report. There was even a suicide note the police confiscated and an office “Prescription Drug Abuser” diagnosis by the local mental hospital that she was sent to. All in my favor and a slam dunk for full child custody to go to me, because of her past issues. My attorney says she really buried herself. Also, she has no clue about the ramifications of her issues/actions. Just to clarify, the children are with me. Thank God. I love them so and would do anything for them. She is actually pretty “thick-headed” in that she emails me and instant messages me like I’m a father-figure to her. I never respond. The e-mails and instant messages just keep on coming from her with all the juicy info that she is burying herself with. We all agree that she has reverted back to a gitty teenager. Including her best female friend too, she believes my wife is a teenager in her mind now.
She is so into the other man, that I think part of her is blind. She only sees the kids, once or twice a month, for a day. I believe that if the kids want to see her, they should. She is still their mother and I want them to know that I agree with that. Believe me, My kids are 14, 8, and 6. I think the cards are all in my favor, if you read all above. I do not fear her in the least. I just don’t want her to try to come back to me for mercy once the other man leaves her sorry ***. He is a surfer who works part-time. She works full-time and he will end up using her *** in multiple ways and then kicking her to the curb for a hotter and younger girl I think. She is 36 years old.
No, for the record, I do not want her (a cheater) to me and the kids back ever. Never. Ever…………… nope, no thank you nurse…..
Anyway, I just want my kids to have love (which they get tons of from me as a loving parent), I want what is best for them and to protect them through this and as they grow. Please help (advise).

My Response:

Dear Super Parent;

Your question was detailed and long, so I left a few things out you originally wrote that I felt didn’t need to be included in your description. On to your dilemma… if you have a lawyer for your divorce this is a question that you should be asking your lawyer, if your lawyer knowing all these details didn’t ask you if you wanted to collect child support then I advise you get a new lawyer. I am not an expert and it depends what state you live in, but I am pretty sure that custody battles and child support are fairly almost the same in every state. If your ex-wife thinks she will not have to pay child support, she has something coming to her. Just because she is a woman does not mean anything. I know a few women that have had to pay child support because the father has full custody. If you have an agreement on what she will pay that is different, but you can definitely take her to court and ask her for child support. I would definitely get a lawyer and fight her for child support, she not only cheated on you, she cheated on your family, and only seeing them 1 or 2 times a month is unacceptable, I do not understand how some parents can just pick up and leave their families like that.

On another note; you are doing an incredible job, sticking with your children and raising them, keep it up, not many men would know what to do in your position. Always remember your kids come first, don’t let your ex-wife try to squeeze back into your life after her little affair plays out. I agree with you that kids have every right to see her, but if she is still suicidal, I do not think I would trust her with them alone. Be careful, and make sure you have all your cards right on the table. My advice, file for full custody if you haven’t already (make sure it is documented), file for her to pay child support, and Find yourself a new lawyer, if he didn’t already recommend all this to you. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

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