Advice Column: 14 and Depressed

The Question: 14 and Depressed….

I have always been a grumpy, moody child. There was 6 months between age 12 and 13 when I was especially miserable and lonely, and I cut myself and I’ve never been good at communicating my feelings, so the rare times I did try to tell my friends that I was sad, it was awkward and one of them just basically brushed it off. She’s the kind of person thats always happy and doesn’t notice when others are sad, annoyed, or anything but happy.

It kind of went away and I made new friends and became more confident. I don’t know how it just happened, but now its coming back again, definitely not as bad, but its still there. Around two months ago I started noticing that horrible feeling of loneliness again and it becomes really strong at times, usually when I’m alone, but I can only hang out with people at school, since none of them live near me or show interest.

I don’t ever remember feeling close to any of my friends. Before 12 it was fine, all we did was play and laugh, but in high school I stopped seeing them and even though I went to the same school as my best friend, we grew apart and I realized we were not best friends, because she never talks to me about ANYTHING and she hasn’t accepted my Facebook request I sent her three years ago, even though a few days ago she accepted from a girl we don’t even talk to anymore.

I don’t know… I just feel disconnected from everything.I feel numb, and I want to go to a therapist but I don’t know how since I am only 14? Please help me out.

(Edited)

First off, it’s great that you notice that you are not happy. That’s the first step in wanting to get better. Second, if you want to talk to a professional, you can always start with your counselor at school. Let them know how you are feeling and let them help you.

Talk to your parents, you will be surprised at how they may understand what you are going through, and even if they don’t, I am sure they want only what is best for you. Have them take you to a therapist if that is what you want.

Depression is a big problem in our world, don’t feel alone in how you feel. With that said, you have to try and think positive whenever you feel yourself getting down. You have friends and don’t stress about the ones not accepting you on Facebook. If you have unresolved feelings as to why your friendship ended with your ex-best friend then send her a message or call her. Try talking to her, maybe something happened that you don’t know about. Maybe she just changed, and if that’s the case, she was never your friend to begin with. I have learned that sometimes in life we make friends and we lose them. It’s sad, and it’s okay to feel sad about it, but we move forward and we find other people in our lives who are better for us. Don’t give up on happiness, you are still young but don’t hold it all in. Talk to someone, that’s the first step in figuring out why you feel the way you do.

Try participating in a group, whether at school or at your local church, if you go to one. Sometimes becoming part of a group will help you get out there more and be more social.

xo

kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com