The Question:
How do I deal with my husband? My husband and I were not planning on having children. Although the thought sometimes sounded interesting to me, I was mostly hesitant because of some issues I have with my husband. He is always very concerned with my looks. Knowing what pregnancy does to your body, I have just kept putting the idea off. I also wanted to wait until I got some things in life that I wanted as thus far, we’ve mostly focused on my husband’s hobbies. Don’t get me wrong- he’s really great about a lot of things…my appearance, my outfits, etc. just continue to be an ongoing issue between us.
Well, recently, I’ve been going through a pretty tough time in my life. Finding out I’m pregnant didn’t help. Instead of being able to embrace this gift, I’m having a harder time dealing with comments from him like “fatty” or “cow.” I admit to splurge on weekends but my weeks are filled with veggies, bran and yogurt, etc. I am not a fat person, the doctor said I’m at a healthy, normal weight right now. Friends, and hell even total strangers constantly tell me how great I look. Is it normal for my husband to be the only one putting me down?
My Response:
Dear Prego;
This is not normal and just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you have to take it from him. This is emotional abuse, and weather he’s saying it messing around or not it’s not making you feel good and it needs to stop. This has obviously gone on before you got pregnant and this is something you needed to take care of before having a family with your husband. It’s too late now, because you are already pregnant, but it’s not too late to stand up to your husband and tell him how you feel. You need to communicate with your husband and if he respects and loves you, he’ll love you for you no matter what, even if you gain a few pounds. Love is unconditional, there isn’t rules to being in love and being married like if you gain weight I won’t love you anymore?!? What is that??? I’m not saying your husband has said that, but what you have written is a concern as to how your husband may treat you just because you have gained a few pounds, and under the circumstances I’m thinking it’s okay to gain a few pounds. Like I said, sit down and talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, start there. If you want things to work, you need to nip this now. Good luck.
xo,
kristin nicole
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com
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