I have a friend who continues to contemplate weather or not to break up with her boyfriend. I can’t stop to think, what is she thinking? But who is ever thinking anything when they believe things can work? When you do love this person, but sometimes can’t distinguish at the time weather it’s love (for a friend) or I’m in love (you are my soul mate).
She has tried to open up to him and change some of her flaws, (we all have them), but it never seems to be enough. I think in any relationship you try to change the things the other person may not like. I don’t mean to change your whole persona, you are who you are, and the person you are with should love you for you. When I say change, I MEAN like you don’t normally throw your laundry in the basket you throw it on the floor, and the person you are with dislikes this, you can change. Just throw it in the basket from now on. Small changes make a world of a difference.
I can truly say I know both people. I know her boyfriend and I used to hang out with him a lot while they were in there long distance portion of the relationship. He has a lot of issues with his past and his family and trust is a factor he doesn’t carry very often. He can’t take responsibility for things he may have fault in and everything always seems to be her fault. Is that right? To always blame the other person? To never see your own fault? How much easier it is to blame the other person, so that if things end…”It wasn’t me. I tried my best, she/he left me. Poor Me”.
Don’t cry about it, see what you are doing wrong yourself. Don’t you want to try and work it out with this person you say you “LOVE”? Then when the other person in this case, (the girl) tries to tell you how she feels, tries to reach out, you (in this case the guy), tries to turn things around as if it was all her fault. And poor little boy who cries in the corner gets dumped by his girlfriend. GIVE ME A BREAK! Grow up, be a man, stand up for what you really want. And if it’s not her, just tell her, but don’t play games and make yourself look like the victim. Don’t pretend as if she is to blame for the entire relationship falling apart. (Now I’m not to say it’s always the guy, there are situations where the girl acts this way).
He told her he might move away for school, but he wasn’t sure, and this was decided before they became a couple. But don’t you think that now that they are a couple he should talk to her about this? He is moving to other side of the country, I’m not talking a few hours away. I’m talking plane ride, couple days in a car distance. This isn’t something you just do when you are with someone you say you love. Am I right, or am I thinking selfishly here? I don’t think you should stop your future plans especially if it’s for school, but it would be nice to have an adult discussion as to what may happen with “us” if you move away.
I just hope that she truly chooses what is best for her, that she can see she deserves better. That anyone in that position guy or girl deserves better. And if you aren’t happy, get out, move on. There is someone out there for everyone, there as to be. I can not believe other wise. Because when I lost love more than once, I thought this is it, I’m going to be alone and never find anyone. Then god showed me that you just have to learn from your mistakes, or the mistakes of others and when you least expect it you find that person who is for you.
This saying is small but cute – “If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go”. ~Anonymous
Relationships aren’t easy, but if you truly love the person you are with, you always try to make it work.
If you have your own relationship stories, or questions please email me Soapnights@gmail.com. Don’t be shy, I’ll only tell you what I think, you can take it from there… =)