The Question:
Guy Number 1:
I have someone new in my life. This person is the only one who has crossed oceans to see me. He’s come to visit twice in New York and Japan. He even told me he loved me and cried when asked him what we were. He said friends. You live far away and we really can’t put a label on this Now he is distancing himself.
Guy Number 2: This guy just this past week got in contact with me.
I had strong feeling for him in 2008. When he broke up with his girl friend he came after me. Things eventually did not last. I decided to stop talking to him even though he wanted to safe the friendship. Now he emailed me just to catch up and thank me for taking him to concert back when we had a thing.We talked over the net for 1 hour. He said he missed talking to me and that I reminded him of someone very close to us. Men are strange..
Is this sign that I’m just a good friend to all these guys.
My response:
Dear friend;
Lets start with Guy #1 – I agree with him that you should just stay friends, long distance relationships are hard, I am not saying they don’t work out but the percentage of them actually working is low. It’s a little extreme to travel so far to see you, and I can see where you are getting mixed signals, but be happy that he was honest with you and he isn’t leading you on by saying he does want to have a relationship, later only to find out he’s with someone else because you are just way too far. Stay friends with this guy, he seems like a good guy.
Guy #2 – It’s good to catch up sometimes but if things didn’t work out the first time, sit back and evaluate why it didn’t work out. How old were you, and some people mature after a few years, it has been 2 years since you last saw him. It could also just mean that the guy was lonely and decided to try and talk to you again because he remembered what a cool girl you are. I wouldn’t totally push this guy away if you like him, but I would keep my guard up. If you want to just stay friends with him, I don’t see anything wrong with that, but if he wants something more and you don’t, be honest with him and let him know you just aren’t into him in that way anymore. He lost his chance the first time, sometimes things don’t work out for a reason.
Don’t think of yourself as just a good friend to these guys, they might like you more then that, but sometimes things don’t work out. Find yourself a new guy that is in the same City and start to date, and one that isn’t an ex boyfriend.
xo,
kristin nicole
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com
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