My husband has been working 4 hours away while he learns a new trade. He has been gone for a month and a half. He came to visit for my son’s birthday last week and while he was here I couldn’t get a kiss or ever a hug unless I asked for it or initiated. He barely spoke to me for the two days. I knew something was wrong and he said he was just tired, or sick, or whatever excuse he could grab at that seemed somewhat realistic.
I got an email last night about how he is enjoying being by himself, and he doesn’t mind not being around me. Then he started talking about all the things we’ve fought about over the last 7 years. About a year ago, out of the blue, he told me he wanted to separate. I was completely devastated and my life felt like it was crumbling away. We had a baby at the time and I just couldn’t imagine our family breaking apart. Plus I absolutely LOVE his family. If it weren’t for them Id have nothing. I have no family besides them.
We obviously talked and patched things up somewhat, but I guess once that scar is there it never totally heals. I’m feeling the pain all over again, and now its worse because I’m 14 weeks pregnant. I thought we were going to be able to have a family together. I’m so devastated and my head is spinning. I don’t know what to do.
My question is, if he decides to leave, what steps should I take to protect myself? Should I go see a lawyer? I’m so worried that because he makes more money than me that he will get the children. I love them so much. IF I didn’t have my children or my family then I really have nothing to live for. They are what GIVES me life. What should I do to be proactive? Help me please. I’m terrified….
Dear Wife & Mother;
The position you are in is very scary and I think you need to take time to breath and gather your thoughts. You definitely need to see a lawyer to get all your options in gear. Just because your husband makes more money than you does not mean that he will gain full custody it also doesn’t mean that because he wants a divorce that he will want the kids full time. If your husband works a lot he may not have time for the children 247. Also, just because you may loose your husband I am sure you will not loose the love from his family. I am sure that they will still be there for you, especially knowing that this divorce is not your decision. You husband knowing he felt this way should had never gotten you pregnant again and I am not sure how the relationship was going when this happened so I won’t lecture you, but if you knew he had feelings of separation a year prior you should have seen some signs of him still being distant (again I do not know your situation so perhaps this isn’t the case) however, it is what is and you are now pregnant and you have a two year old, so you need to be strong for them. Loosing your husband is hard, but that doesn’t mean you are loosing your family. If his family truly loves you, they will always be there for you and you will always have your children. Be strong and get a lawyer so that you know what your options are. Good luck, have faith and I know this is hard but don’t give up on yourself.
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