OMG something terrible happened, what should I do about my life?

The Question: The Story:

OK so me and my friend Debbie were shopping at the local mall of shopping yesterday to look for a snazzy new turquoise and pink and a smidgen of heliotrope frock. We looked everywhere such as Starbucks, Crab-tree and Evelyn and Burger Kind but this didn’t come to any avail and we could not find the dress that we needed. This made us burst in to floods of violent tears as it meant we could not go to the dishwasher themed party my neighbors mothers sisters daughters neighbor was throwing. We were so excited we were touching each others vagina’s all weekend. Of course you can imagine how destroyed we felt inside, we decided to alleviate this horrible and mentally scarring turn of events by visiting our favorite novelty can opener shop. As you can imagine it was sexually exhilarating. Although something mega embarrassing happened! I saw the new “try for yourself” can opener and it called out to me. I went over to try it and it was so much fun that I accidentally had an uncontrollable orgasm and got thrown into prison. I got let out the next day but on my release I tripped over an egg and bacon quiche (w/ketchup) and passed out for 387 hours. I woke up in my house with my cat tablecloth crawling over me and asking me for some whiska’s cat food as for the past month it had been on an unsatisfying diet of Purina. My question is, what do I do about my demanding cat?

My Response:

Dear Cat;

Loved the question! Give your cat some damn Whiska’s Cat food. On a real note: Funny story, you should think about writing a book. 😉

xo
kristin nicole

I found this on Yahoo.com