I can remember back just a few weeks ago, we were fine. Although I noticed he was staying out a lot more often, I asked him if everything was okay and if it was me, he said no and that he was still very in love with me. We started talking about baby-making just a few weeks ago, and he said he wouldn’t mind if we got pregnant right now, he said he would be happy about it. So, I let him know I was ovulating, we did it, and now I’m pregnant. As soon as I told him I was pregnant, he takes his wedding ring off and tells me he wants a divorce, that he isn’t ready for all of this. We’ve been married for four years. We’ve got one child at home already. So, I am really confused now. He told me he was serious about getting divorce papers.
But that was all he has said about it, it’s been a week, and he hasn’t mentioned it anymore. He is still coming home at night, but not telling me that he loves me anymore. For example, when he leaves to go somewhere, I always say, “bye sweetie, I love you”, He just started saying “yep” and nods his head and walks out the door, even before he goes to work in the morning. He is still sleeping in the same bed with me, and all of that, but we’re not having sex right now since he found out about the preg.
One of his buds that he works with that I am also pretty good friends with says he has been talking about divorcing me for over a month now! Why would he do all of this to me? I am so confused. I don’t know what he wants bc he hasn’t brought it up anymore. He’s only known about the preg. for one week, which is when he brought up the divorce. He has no reason, he just says he’s not in love with me anymore and he’s not happy. Just last week we were normal! He has seemed distant, and I’m almost 7 wks preg, so yes, I have been emotional, so maybe that’s why he feels this way? I was crying a lot over the passed few weeks and didn’t even know I was pregnant.
What should I do? Should I bring up the divorce subject again or just let him sort himself out? I love him, I’m willing to wait on him, but I’m not willing to live in the same house with the man I love while he walks all over me and doesn’t show consideration for my feelings. I’ve been trying not to be emotional around him lately and hope that he will come back around. I don’t want to push this because it is too stressful and I’m still in the vulnerable part of my pregnancy.
He is still talking to me, but not about personal things, just about things on the news, what happened at work, etc. He even brought a sub home for me last night after he got finished fourwheeling with his buds. He doesn’t really stay home a lot anymore, and he said that it was bc he wasn’t in love with me. I don’t know what to believe. Just the other day he said it was bc he got a new “toy” (his fourwheeler) and wanted to have fun with it (that was before the preg.). … he is sending me too many mixed signals and messages.
I’m so hurt, and confused. I don’t know what is going to happen to us. I’ve been praying a lot. I love him so much, he is my world. I still feel the connection between us and for some reason I feel like he is not being sincere when he says he don’t love me. I don’t know what to do. I cant’ believe he has been talking to his friends about this for over a month and keeping me in the dark and leading me on. He’s acting like we’ve never been married.
Wow I am completely shocked by your story. I don’t understand, you have been married for 4 years which means you probably have been together for even longer. He tells you he is in love with you and wants to have a baby, so you make a baby and he just flips the script and says he wants a divorce he’s NOT in love with you anymore? Am I getting all this right?? Don’t you dare sit back and wait for him to come around, you have a child already in the house you have to think about and one on the way. I know this is painful but do you want to be with a man that doesn’t love you the way you love him? You need to sit down with him right away and talk to him, ask him what he truly wants and why did he just tell you a month ago that he loved you and wanted to have a baby only to tell you after you were pregnant that he doesn’t love you and wants a divorce? This is going to be hard, and you are going to have to be strong, but if he wants a divorce then he needs to get out of the house, there is no reason for him to be sleeping in the same bed next to you acting as if he was your roommate and not your husband. This is unacceptable and you need to see this. You need to love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that what he is doing to you and your children isn’t right and neither of you deserve this kind of treatment. He may be going through some stuff at work or some emotional confusion, but what confuses me is that this isn’t his first child, the two of you already have a child together so I don’t think he’s getting scared because of the baby that’s on the way, it has to be something else and you need to find answers. This is hard because you are already 7 weeks pregnant and I don’t know if you believe in abortion, if you don’t then ignore what I’m about to say, but if you do it is something you definitely need to think about. Do you want to bring another baby into the world with all the problems you are having with your husband right now. It is a possibility that you will get divorced and that you’ll then have to raise your two kids alone. It is also a possibility that he’s going through some type of emotional confusion and the two of you can try going to a marriage counselor, you have to at least try so that you know you tried to make it work for your family, but don’t lower yourself and take him living there as if nothing is wrong when you know there is something definitely wrong. Good luck and keep me updated.
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