I am going through an awful time. I am going through a divorce and so is my boyfriend. We are in our 40’s.
I feel so insecure at times. My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months and at the weekend I asked him if he loved me more than he did his wife. He said ‘no, but in time hopes to’. This wasn’t the answer I was hoping for as he always tells me he loves me so much and I do him.
I thought we had got over it, but he rang me today and said he’s not sure if he can stay with me now I asked that question as I had no right and it has left him feeling very low.
Is this because he misses his wife? I really love him and don’t want to lose him just because I asked one question. Surely if we love one another, we should be able to talk and ask anything which might be bothering us.
Please help. I am so down today.
Every love is different, that isn’t a question that you ask someone, and if he was married to her for many years I am sure he loved her a lot. This does not mean that he doesn’t love you any less or any more than he did her. It is a totally different relationship and you are both coming out of marriages that you were in for a long time. He may feel uncomfortable that you asked him that, and that he was honest with the way he felt. Perhaps you are asking too much from him right now? Although this is a question I would never ask because you are only looking to get hurt with that type of question. Have you asked yourself why can’t you be happy with the way things are? If what you are looking for is a deeper relationship and wanting to know where your relationship is going, well that is a totally different question that you need ask him. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you don’t want things to be awkward because of your question and try to fix things with him if you really want things to work out. Stop being insecure, if he didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t be. Know that you are sexy, beautiful and worth every minute spent with you. Love yourself and stop worrying about the rest.
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com