Dear Kristin Nicole;
I need your help as soon as possible. I am a married lady with one child. My husband works far away and we have been having problems and I also found out that he was cheating on me and that further strained our relationship. I fell in love with a colleague at work and everything was rosy and so exciting. I have just found out that I’m pregnant with my lovers baby and I’m so scared of the consequences. I’m so sure that I love my boyfriend, but I’m no longer in love with my husband. My husband is trying to change to be a good person because he wants to save our marriage and at the same time I feel so guilty that I’m carrying someone else baby. I’m 5 weeks pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I am pregnant with his child, he became distant and the relationship just turned sour. I’m so scared. He told me that I should abort. I’m scared of abortion. My husband doesn’t know that I’m pregnant. What should I do. Please help me.
Your situation is very complicated. First things first, lets start with the fact that your husband cheated on you and you stayed with him. I understand he is trying to work things out now, but don’t you think it’s a little too late? You cheating on your husband was not the right thing to do just because your husband cheated on you, you really should have just ended things with your husband from the beginning. (I know it is a lot easier said than done), however with that said, you are now pregnant with your boyfriends child and he wants nothing to do with the baby or you. I cannot tell you to get an abortion this is a decision you have to truly make on your own, and having a child already you know what it is to take care of a child and give birth to a little human being. If you want to save your marriage which I don’t think you do because you clearly said you were not in love with your husband anymore than that decision seems clear to me. I know you do not want to hurt him by him finding out you are pregnant with another mans baby, but he has a right to know, and you both need to come to a conclusion on what to finally do with your relationship. As for your boyfriend, I do not think this guy is ready for a girlfriend or any type of relationship if the first thing he did when you told him you were pregnant was turn distant and run. If you decide to keep the baby, make sure it is because you truly want this child, but not because you think it may give you a chance to be with this new guy. Flings are just that, and perhaps this guy was just having fun with you, I know it is hard to hear, but you deserve someone better than your husband (who cheated on you) and your “boyfriend” who ran at the first sight of a true relationship and family. Deep down you know what you really want and need to do, you just have to take a few minutes to sit by yourself and take it all in. It is a hard decision but no matter what decision you make, it needs to be for you!