I have posted before about this train wreck of a relationship. I dated him for about a year, moved in early, then moved out because he was kind of a whack job, then we tried to date again, then broke up, and now are in this gray area. Do I see a future with him? No. Do I want to be with him? No. Do I want to move on and stop talking to him? More than anyone can humanly imagine. So, why then, do I consistently maintain contact with him? He will text back, he will sleep with me, he will hang out with me (at his convenience) but overall, a selfish jerk. Sometimes when I text him, I just feel icky. I know that he will avoid me, or ignore texts just to see me squirm. He is rude and doesn’t give two shi**s about what I’m doing, other than the occasional, “How are you?” text after I have asked him. Do I think he actually cares about how I am? No. Am I still in love with him? Not this guy, but the guy he used to be. He leaves me hanging’, I don’t trust him…..but I just can’t STOP the contact with him. HOW (and I am in counseling too), do I just STOP!?!?!? How do you stop the obsessive thoughts of whether or not he’s with another girl….texting another girl….ignoring me….? I just want to STOP so I can live my life. My days are crap when I’m in contact with him. He’s no good. I just want this madness to stop. I feel like I have zero willpower. I am desperate.
You say you don’t want to be with him, you say you are over him, you say he’s a jerk, that you want to forget about him, yet here you are still talking about him, still texting him, still wondering if he’s with another girl. STOP! Take time to breath, and realize that you are still hung up on this guy whether you want to be or not. Sometimes it’s hard to get over what we thought we had, what we think could of been. You already have realized that he isn’t the same guy you started dating, and that’s the first step into getting over him. No one can really tell you how to make it stop, you are the only one that can make that happen. Erase his number from your phone, get rid of anything that he’s given you or any pictures you still have of him ( I know you must have that stuff still), the sooner you do this the sooner it will sink into your head that things are really over between the two you. STOP Texting, loose his number and perhaps even change yours so that he can’t contact you. You already know he isn’t any good for you, he didn’t treat you good and he was as you stated a bit of “a whack job”, so why would you possibly want to be with someone like this. Respect yourself, and learn to love yourself, when you get that you will finally see that this guy isn’t worth your time. You deserve someone that will love you the way you love them, you deserve someone who will treat you good and want to be with you, not someone like the man you described above. Unfortunately women tend to hold on to things, we tend to think about the guy, and drive ourselves crazy even when we know it isn’t going to do any good. Start hanging out with family or friends, going out keep your mind off things and move on. You have to stop in order for you to move on. Hope this helps you a little. Keep me updated.
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