The Question: Abusive Military Husband
I am currently living with my husband overseas in Bumholder, Germany. I have been thinking about it for a while now and decided I need a divorce. My husband is emotionally abusive, he’s thrown used protection [sic]. (not sure if I can say the other word) at my face before, when he left for his last training he only gave me 40 dollars to last a month and a half and I have a child as well and no transportation. He tells me he hates me every day yet he refuses to let me move back home. I feel the only option I have left is to divorce him. I am also worried about him finding out.
I don’t feel safe living with him and I’ll feel even less safe being here while we are going through a divorce; he has a tendency to sharpen his knifes after we have fought and threaten me, and that scares me to death. I need all the possible information on how to go about getting a divorce. Who should I try to contact. My husband leaves again for training next week and will be gone another month and a half. At this time I’ll most likely have no money again and it’s a short time frame to get this all done. I was just trying to deal with it and hope that something would change but it hasn’t. I don’t even like him being around our daughter who is 7 months old. The only time she’s around him is when I shower, and it makes me so nervous because he is always screaming at her because she won’t stop crying. But it’s just because he has nothing to do with her and she isn’t really familiar with him. I have no idea who I’m supposed to go to or call. Also, if I tell the Military that I feel unsafe living with him while going through a divorce can they help and place me somewhere else until it is finished? I just need all the help I can get, please!
Dear Abused wife;
If you are from the United States go to the embassy, I am sure that there is something you can do about getting back to your family while you get a divorce. You can also go to his platoon, being abusive is against any military law. He can get arrested and discharged from the military. I am not sure how far you want to go, this may anger him more, but you need to stand up and fight for yourself and for your daughter it is not safe nor is it healthy to stay in this relationship any longer. What he’s doing is wrong, and you staying with him is not going to help your daughter have a normal and good life. Giving you $40 to last a month is ridiculous. Have you thought about getting a job, the military helps with day care and things like that if you need to get a job to save money. The best bet is to go to his commanding officer (boss) and tell him what is going on, explain that you want to go back to the United States but that he refuses to let you go. If you have family, call them, have them send you money and get your passports and get out of there. Figure out the divorce later, but you need to find yourself a lawyer as soon as possible so that you can file for divorce. No one should have to take abuse (emotional or physical) find a way out and do it as soon as you can. If you have any friends you can trust, maybe you can stay with them for a while, until you can figure out how to get back to the United States. (Again I am assuming you are from the U.S). If you are not from the U.S; then get back to where ever you are from, call a friend or family. If you don’t have friends or family then you will have no other choice but to go to his boss and tell him what is going on. Good luck.
I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2010)