Sometimes do you wonder who your friends really are?
Are there actually true friends out there?
I have asked this question many times, maybe it’s me, maybe there is something about me that for some reason I can’t keep a friend. Sometimes you trust a person so much, you let them in and then somehow they just let something go along the way.
I had a friend in high school who was one of my best friends. We were supposed to go eat sushi when she decided to pick up and leave and run away from home and go with Miami Dade Youth Fair. Yes the FAIR! I couldn’t believe it either. I felt almost abandoned. Wasn’t this person my best friend, didn’t they think of me the same way. They had just confirmed the night before that we were going to go eat out the next day. So why would they just pick up and leave and not say anything to me? An answer I will never have, because the first person I want to call when I am down or in trouble is my best friend. If it was her decision to leave then she could have at least told me what was going on. I worried for months not knowing where she was, if she was okay. Finally her mother find out she was with the fair and I got a phone call. I forgave her, at least a part of me did, just happy to know she was okay but still angry she just picked up and left with out saying anything. She finally moved back to Miami and we were friends, until one day I found out she was talking about me (badly) to my boyfriend at the time. Now not being with that person and realizing what a liar he had become I sometimes wonder if he was lying, and if maybe I over reacted when I decided to not talk to her anymore. My mother never liked her, not much of my family did, but I knew the things she went through growing up and I guess a part of me saw the good in her.
I had another friend from high school, we stopped being friends over a rumor. We found out it was a rumor and agreed it was dumb to have believed the person spreading the rumor, but our friendship was never the same. A few years after we graduated we bumped into each other at a club and we just picked up where we left off. It was great. I moved away and when I did she was really upset that I had decided to leave. I understood but that moment in my life, i needed to grow and change. When I moved back I had lost touch with her along the way because she had changed her phone number. She claims she lost my number as well, I took the chance knocking at her door and she still lived there. We got together a few times, she had a baby and everything, last time I spoke to her was when I had just started dating my boyfriend I’m with now. She was separating from her husband and had met someone, I said we needed to get together so everyone could meet. And then I lost my phone at Disney and I tried emailing her until the email finally bounced back. She was another friend my family didn’t really like, she was loud and outspoken. But I believe she was a good person and a good friend, but i guess not good enough to try and keep in touch with me. So another friend lost.
I had another friend that when we met we clicked and became best of friends. When I was separating from my ex, I was going through a hard time, and needed a friend, and she became the biggest bitch to me. I told her I thought she was a friend that would be there for me but I GUESS I was wrong. After that we talked a few times but lost touch. I felt like it shouldn’t have been my move to try and make things right.
My other friend she has been through a lot too, and depressed a lot. She would get lost every once in a while, and I would hate that cause i would worry about her. The last time I spoke to her after calling her for over a month and her not answering or returning my calls, she says she didn’t want to keep bothering me about her bad relationship and what not. I told her that it didn’t matter, i was always here for her. Then she stopped picking up my calls again and I sent her an email telling her how I felt and telling her that the friend she does hang out with is also in a bad relationship and i think she needs to hang out with more positive people, she probably didn’t like that, but I am a very honest person and I have to say what I feel. I have yet to hear from her and it’s been over 2-3 months.
So is it something that I do? Or is it the choice of friends I choose?
I have one friend that I have known since I was 13. I wish we would hang out more but I feel that we don’t because of her fiance. I am happy that we still have each other, we talk to each other every day. I also have my family, and that is something that is very important to me. They are always there for you no matter what.
And most important and loving and supportive person other than family is my best friend, my boyfriend. He is my family, We have been searching for a house for a while now and I just hope to find one before the new year so that we can move in together. So besides loosing a few friends, you live and you learn and although i wish I can make amends with some of these girls, i just hope that they are truly happy where ever they are in their lives. As for me I have my family, my friends and the love of my life, I couldn’t ask for more.