Advice Column: Lost sex drive

Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

The Question: Lost Sex Drive

We have been dating for a little over 6 months, he’s 19, I’m 17. We both have pretty low-stress life styles, at the moment he is doing a simple course with little study or work content, so I figure it isn’t stress. [sic]. The thing is, we still do sexual things, almost every night, but never actual sex, which bothers me because by “we do sexual things” I mean, I give him a bl0w job, and we go to sleep. The funniest part is that when we first started dating he told me he didn’t like blow jobs and had never ‘blown his load’ during. [sic]. My guess is my ‘skills’ are a drastic improvement upon his other girlfriends, because after a little bit of convincing, he let me give it a go and now it’s all he wants! Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he enjoys it and I have no problem doing it, but a girls gotta [sic] get some every now and again. (at least, I do…) Not to mention it’s making me feel very unattractive, despite all his reassurances. Any similar experiences or advice?

(Edited)

My Response:

Dear not getting any;

He’s young, he shouldn’t have little sex drive at all, he should be wanting to have sex with you 247. If he’s only wanting you to go down south then you need to stop, and tell him that you want him to go down south on you for a change; or simply state what you want and tell him you want him. If this doesn’t work then I would start wondering if there is something else behind the whole (him not wanting sex and only bl**jobs) He’s also just 19 and we think about things way more then men do, so maybe he just thinks you enjoy going down on him and you aren’t looking for any other type of satisfaction. COMMUNICATION is key in any relationship especially when it comes to sex. Speak up, tell him what you want and that you don’t go down on him for his pleasure only, you need some attention too. Good luck….

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com 2010

Advice Column: Sleeping with a married man

Advice Column. Image found on google.com/images

The Question: 

I was sleeping with a married man.  I told his wife, and at first she was super nice with me. Then a few weeks later she turned on me. I forwarded her all the emails, text messages and she was so thankful. Then out of the blue started snapping at me. She now blocked me from everything. Her and her husband deserve each other. I should have never gotten involved in this craziness.

My Response:

Dear Other Woman;

Do not let this bother you so much. You did what you think was right, and you thought she would be grateful that you told her the truth about her husband. You have to understand that maybe she’s grateful in a way for you telling her that her husband was cheating, but at the end of the day when she started reading all the texts, and emails and realizing that her husband betrayed her with another women, and that YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN. No matter what, at the end of the day you are that one person that made her world fall apart. I am not sure why you decided to tell his wife about your affair, did you know he was married when you started having a relationship with this man? If you knew he was married, then it was wrong on your part on all levels, (and telling his wife about the two of you was more likely a way to get back at him for him not leaving his wife); if you did not know he was married and it was just as much as a shock to you as it was to his wife that he was cheating, then you did what you thought was right and now you just have to move on. Don’t let her being upset at you get you upset, it’s natural for her to be angry at you, even if you told her the truth about her lying, cheating husband. Move on, and find yourself a real man, one that isn’t married.

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com 2010

Advice Column: He’s been spying on me


The Question: He’s been spying on me, checking computer, e-mails, what do I do?

My e-mail began acting up recently. After about a week, I decided to change my password and create a new account all together. When I changed my password, I found that mail forwarding had been activated. An easy file transfer was set up (so that all of my files/e-mails were sent to a different computer) as well as e-mail to iPhone. I live with my boyfriend. He’s a computer guy and has an iPhone. It had to be him.

I’m not mad at all, I have NOTHING to hide. But I’m confused. We’re very close, affectionate, spend the majority of our time together. I feel we’re very open with one another and there’s no reason to be suspicious. Plus, he’s the least jealous guy I know. I have no idea why he’d be snooping around. The other night, we got in an argument. Afterward, I came downstairs, was typing on Yahoo Answers for advice. Perhaps maybe he thought I was e-mailing someone, I don’t know.

I’ve change the password on the account and I am now using a new e-mail. As I said before, I don’t care if he looked because I have no secrets. I’m just concerned he did this behind my back and I am curious as to what he was looking for. I’ve let it go for a few days now. Should I bring it up? If so, how do I confront him?

My response:


Dear boyfriend intrusion;

You definitely need to confront your boyfriend. Trust is one of the biggest issues people have in their relationship and without it, there is nothing to go by. Be honest with your boyfriend about what you found in your email. Remember that even though all fingers are pointing towards your boyfriend he may deny that he had anything to do with that, and you have to make a decision whether to trust him or not and move on from it. If he does admit it was him, explain to him that you have nothing to hide as he can see, but that it hurt that he had to go behind your back to do something like this, when he should have trusted you from the beginning. If he does admit this, you are going to have to trust he won’t do it again and move on from this. This is definitely a violation of trust and of your personal stuff. No person should have to go through the other persons stuff, it’s a violation of privacy. If the other person is curious about something then they should just ask. Good luck and keep me updated.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: My girlfriend has been abused

The Question: My girlfriend has been abused, and has fidelity issues how do I help her with them?

My girlfriend and I have been involved since the beginning of February, so around, 6 weeks now. I realized very early on that there was a potential love and we have now come to acknowledge it (she first) [sic]. She is very bright, beautiful, an excellent lover, and open to new ideas and adventures. Unfortunately, she just got out of an abusive relationship in November where she was violently abused on half a dozen occasions and was cheated on four times. She sought revenge on him and cheated on him three times. After their breakup she whored around with 8 more guys in 2.5 months and used alcohol as an escape. She kept much of the nitty-gritty from me until she knew I wasn’t going to bail the moment she told me. She has agreed to start counseling at the end of the month.What should I do?

(Edited)

My response:

Dear Boyfriend in a rut;

You are definitely dating someone with a lot of baggage. Although it was good that she was honest with you, you are going to have to be patient and understanding and you are going to have to trust that she won’t go cheating on you due to her insecurities. There really isn’t much you can do but be there for her. Show her that you aren’t one of her ex’s that is going to go cheat on her and you aren’t going to be abusive to her either. You are already helping her by showing her you aren’t that kind of person and by supporting her in her decision to go to counseling. This will be very good for her. Your girlfriend going to counseling is already the first step into her getting better, her realizing that what she was doing to get over her hurt wasn’t the right route to go. You are already helping her by just being there for her and supporting her. Keep it up, it seems to me she has found a good boyfriend. Good luck, keep me updated.

xo,
kristin nicole

Please feel free to leave any comments.

You can find this on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: Confiding in husbands friend

Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

The Question: Confiding in husbands friend, is it okay to confide in him?

I feel like I can talk to him better than my husband. When I try to talk to my hubby [sic] he just doesn’t listen. His friend listens to me and tells me his opinion on things, and no he is not trying to get me in his bed. This guy is not like that. What is your opinions on this subject?

My Response:

Dear confidant;

It’s a tough call, the guy is your husbands friend so it may be a little awkward for your husband if he knows that you are going to his friend for advice. You really should be able to talk to your husband, he should be your confidant (your best friend, go to guy) and if he can’t sit down and talk to you, then you need to make sure to get his attention and tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you want to talk to him and you feel like he doesn’t listen. If he still doesn’t listen then it’s his own fault for pushing you towards his friend, I just hope what you are saying is true and that this friend isn’t “that type of guy”, unfortunately as a women we believe that, and we truly think these guys are only our friends, but unfortunately guys think way differently than we do and sometimes emotions may change, so be careful. I also hope that you truly just see it as a friendship and nothing more. Remember you are married, if you really love your husband talk to him, and try to make him understand what you are feeling. Good Luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: My girlfriend is married

Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

The Question:

I am a 24 year old guy and I have girlfriend who is 31 years old, she is married, but we love each other and we are in a relationship. We have been in a relationship for the past 3 years, we share everything (sex) but I’m afraid of what will happen if she leaves far away (to a different state). She is calling me to have sex all the time, should I go or not? When I think about my love for her, I feel that I have to and want to go but when I think about her family I feel that I should stop. What do I do?

(Edited)

My Response:

Dear Used;

First of all, when you started a relationship with this women you knew she was married, so not only is she a cheater but you aren’t any better than she is knowing she is married and has a family. 3 YEARS!?! Wow, I can’t believe a relationship like this would go on for so long, do you realize she is only using you for the sex? This isn’t a relationship at all, you are only a booty call. She calls, you go, you sleep together, you leave and she stays the rest of her day with her family. She isn’t going to leave her husband, and even if she did, what makes you think the two of you would work out and she wouldn’t cheat on you later down the road. Is this the type of relationship you want? You are 24 years old, you are still young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, don’t throw it away on someone you think you love. Have respect for yourself and for her family who she is hurting and move on. Change your number and tell her that you don’t want anything to do with her anymore. Find a real women, a women that wouldn’t cheat on her family with another man, a women who would respect and love you and be with only you. Move on buddy….she’s just not that into you!

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: Should I break up with my gf?

Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

The-Question:

A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend admitted to me that the day before she cheated on me with another dude. I thought about it and decided to stay with her. Her ex is now telling me that she is having sex with him. On top of this my girlfriend and I are planning on having a baby. Can I have some outside input please?

My Response:

Dear Cheated On;

First mistake was taking her back after finding out she cheated on you once. The ex boyfriend could be lying about sleeping with her now, but is that a chance you want to take? Once a cheater always a cheater, okay so this isn’t the case all the time, but it’s a big percentage that she will cheat again, especially knowing you took her back the first time. Now you are planning to have a baby with your girlfriend, (talking about it?) or she is already pregnant? If she isn’t pregnant, I don’t know why you are planning to have a baby with someone that A.) You aren’t married to & B.) She cheated on you and possibly more than once! If she is pregnant already, I would definitely take a paternity test to make sure the baby is indeed yours, and if it is, that doesn’t mean you need to stay with her. Don’t ever stay in a relationship you aren’t being respected in. She doesn’t respect you, if she did she wouldn’t have cheated on you. Respect yourself and get out of this relationship now before you do have a baby with her and you are stuck with her for the rest of your life. Find a girl that will respect you and love you and NOT cheat on you.

Good luck.

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: Which guy should I choose?

Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

The Question:

Guy number 1 – This guy, I met randomly and we just started talking and we really connected. We used to talk to each other as much as we can from day to night, until he had to go to bed. A few weeks later he told me he loved me and asked me out. That was the perfect thing as that was all I ever wanted. He is a great guy and he treated me very well.

I think its true that people change, as now, as we know each other inside and out, there is really nothing to talk about anymore, and we are loosing the connection we had when we first met each other. It gets kind of awkward and I can sometimes tell that he is kind of ‘bored’ as he talks to other girls. I try not to become the jealous type, but its not like I can tell him not to talk to those girls.

Anyway, I questioned him the other day, because now I’m feeling nothing at all, and I think he forgot everything about me as he doesn’t know how I feel about things now. [sic]. I am very sensitive and I tend to cry a lot about different things. He told me everything I wanted to hear, and it made me feel so guilty that I ever doubted him.

The thing I was a bit [sic] more upset about was how he had to go to camp for his French excursion and when I was talking he said he was ‘packing.’ I asked what for and he said he was going on Camp. I was a bit disappointed about this but I didn’t really have a choice. He left the next day and wont be back for four days. That’s when I reconnected with my best friend.

Guy number 2- I’ve known this guy for nearly a year and we met through this other guy, which we don’t see very much anymore. He also is seeing somebody else, and is having problems with her as well and she is on vacation and wont be back for about 2 weeks. So both of them went away and left us behind.

We started talking one day and I think a little spark happened between us. We both were experiencing some problems in our relationships and we were talking about it and ‘trying’ to help each other. Things got better as he asked me a lot of questions about relationships and how I would go about doing things. Things like ‘what if you love someone else’ or ‘what kinda guys do you like’ – things like that.

I thought for a minute that he might be just being friendly but I knew he wasn’t as it was quite obvious that he may be giving me hints that he likes me back. We talked about it for the 4 days and we really reconnected and it changed the way we talked to each other, not like the old times.

He is really a sweet guy, who makes me really happy and says the things thatI want hear. I think I am actually falling in love with him. I don’t know how to act and I’m so confused because now it feels weird when I talk to my boyfriend.

Sorry this was really long, but that’s the info I can describe about both guys, I am so confused and I have no idea how to go about this. Can someone help me make my decision?
Thanks so much!
xox

(Edited)

My Response:

Dear stuck between two;

Okay lets start off with the obvious Guy #1 – Sometimes we think we fall for someone when really it was only an infatuation, and sometimes we do love someone but we fall out of love with them. It seems to me that your current boyfriend needs to go. The chemistry just isn’t there anymore for the two of you and it isn’t that any of you did something wrong, sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. You two have grown up a little more and perhaps just grown apart. When you really love someone and really truly have things in common with them, you never run out of things to say to each other. Don’t even look at Guy #2 right now as an option, just focus on Guy #1…Do you love him? Do you see yourself with him in the long run? If one of those answers is a NO, You need to move on, because of what you have said about your boyfriend, he seems like he cares about you but he just isn’t in love with you.

Now Guy #2 – You guys are friends, have always been friends and have now reconnected because you are both having the same problem. You may think you are falling in love with him, but it could just be the common story you share together, boy with girl, girl and boy aren’t happy anymore, etc etc…. You guys have something in common with each other and you are sharing something together that is very personal, that will bring any two people closer together, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s love. On the other hand it can be something growing there, but the two of you first need to figure out what it is you want with the people you are currently committed to, don’t discuss that if you leave her, I’ll leave him type of thing, just do what you feel is right, and if he is still there when you decide then go from there.

Good luck with the two.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: Is my husband overprotective?

Advice Column. Is my husband overprotective? Image found on google.com/images

The-Question:

I think mine is. It’s nice to have someone watch out for you and it shows that he really cares about me but sometimes it gets frustrating. For instance, he doesn’t like the idea of me going to the mall by myself. I know that our mall has a bit of crime and bums hang around and beg for money but even my parents let me go to the mall alone when I was a teenager and I’m 23 now. It’s not that he won’t let me go, he just lets me know how much he doesn’t like the idea and will go with me if he knows I’m going to go. He’s never kept me from doing anything I’ve wanted to do, he just tells me when he disagrees with one of my decisions and says that I don’t see the world for what it is. He says I assume people aren’t going to take advantage of me and that I’m kind of naive about strangers thinking I’m completely safe no matter where I go and I know that’s not true but I guess I have the attitude that “it couldn’t happen to me.” Another example is that when we stop at a store or gas station and he’s just running in to get something and I’m staying in the car, he says, “Keep the doors locked” and he locks them when he gets out. Anyway, my question is, does your husband do this or does he not care at all about what you do or where you go?

My Response:

Dear Over-Protective;

I don’t have a husband, however I do have a boyfriend. I can understand a husband or boyfriend being protective, when you love someone you don’t want anything bad to happen to them. However, there is over protectiveness. Not letting you go to the mall alone and having to always tag along is a bit too much, sometimes we need our space and we need to do the smallest things alone, even if that is just going to the mall. If you don’t live in a safe neighborhood I can understand him being a little more worried about it, but if it’s a good neighborhood then he needs to stop thinking so negative (that every time you step out of the house something can happen to you) if we lived like that we would all drive ourselves crazy. He needs to trust that you are a grown women, you are only 23 but you are married already, you are a grown women and you can take care of yourself. If it makes him feel safe talk to him and explain to him that you will be okay just going to the mall, he needs to not be so protective of you, and if it helps carry one of those mace bottles on your key chain or in your purse. Just because someone isn’t acting like your husband doesn’t mean that person doesn’t care or love the other person some men are more protective than others. As for the locking the doors when he goes into the gas station, that’s completely normal, I think everyone does that, even my mother tells me to lock the doors if she leaves me in the car, and I’m older than you. Talk to your husband and try to explain to him that it’s okay for you to go certain places without him, you’ll be just fine. If this is how it is to just go to the mall, it can get worse for future things, and you don’t want to have that kind of relationship with your husband. He needs to trust you and he needs to trust that you’ll be okay. Always be aware of your surroundings no matter what, and always take your keys out of your purse before you exit the mall or any other store you are in. Being protective of your loved ones is one thing, being over protective and not letting them go anywhere with out them is another. Talk to your husband and nip this in the butt now.

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

Advice Column: Am I wrong to get mad?

Advice Column. Ask Kristin Nicole. Image found on google.com/images

The Question:

I’m 27 weeks pregnant, living with my boyfriend. He hasn’t done really anything through my pregnancy, so far (like getting a job). His plans were to stop smoking weed this summer and join the navy, because the benefits are good! He’ll get health and dental insurance and they’ll pay his way through college, and our son will get those health benefits, as well. That’s what was most important to me, because I’ll be going off to college within the next year and it’s going to be so hard for me to pay for hospital bills/medication (if something should happen to me or our son) while going to school. Those benefits for the baby would have eased a lot of stress. But NOW, he’s wanting just to go to college. I asked why he changed his mind and he said because he doesn’t want to stop smoking weed. I support any decision he makes to further his education, because that’s better than nothing, but I think that’s selfish on his part. I had to exchange my career dreams for a career that I’m not completely interested in, but can support our family, but he can’t put down the pot? It’s not only that, but he’s trying to go to college in COLORADO. We live in Texas and the thought of him being so far away from us tears me apart.

Question is:
Should I support his dreams fully and be positive that everything will turn out okay? OR Is this really something to talk/argue about with him?

My response:

Dear going to be a mom;

You are pregnant and you are about to start a family. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you need to marry the father of your baby, especially if the relationship isn’t so good. The Navy is a big commitment, I wouldn’t push him into going into the Navy just because it has good benefits and health plans, entering into any Government force is a big commitment and in the Navy you would barely see your husband either because they go out to sea a lot of the times, however if it is something he does like and was considering then I do believe he needs to wake up and grow up and realize that he’s having a baby soon. If his plans are to go to college in another state why isn’t he inviting you to go with him? You don’t leave your family behind for college, you take them with you. I’m sorry but it seems to me like he is trying to run away from his responsibilities, and he needs to grow up and realize that he’s going to be a Dad soon, if he wasn’t ready to give up smoking weed to get a job and support his family then he should had thought about all that before getting you pregnant. You have to confront him, this isn’t something you just let go, Don’t push him into the Navy, but he definitely needs to get a Job and he needs to stay close to his family, if he doesn’t want that then you need to make a choice, you need to decide if this is the life you want, is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? If the college in Colorado is really what he wants, don’t stop him from going, but there are ways to still be together, you can move over there with him and be a family. As for the weed, he definitely needs to just give that up! However, with all that said, just because he’s the father doesn’t mean you have to stay with him. As for you going to college, don’t give up what you wanted to study, there are many plans the government can help you with especially for a single mother going to school, many grants and other things. Look into it, but don’t give up. You got yourself in this position so now you also have to grow up and take responsibility, don’t rely on a man to get you where you want to be. I hope it works out for you because it’s nice to have that perfect little family (but sometimes it doesn’t always work that way) so if it doesn’t work out that way, you need to be strong for your child, move on, get a job and continue school. But definitely TALK ABOUT IT!

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Yahoo.com – Repost 2010